So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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