so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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