I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
