I'm really into asian looking animals
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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