belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
