What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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