its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
