shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
