He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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