Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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