You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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