Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I need moral support for this bender
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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