the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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