found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
