Will you blow on my dice?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
