This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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