Apparently you make a good broom.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
