got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
