i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
