I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
