How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize