i wish there were pregnant emoticons
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
