If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
