Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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