You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
