i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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