i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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