Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
