Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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