we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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