He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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