i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.