Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment