There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
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Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.