I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
