just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
