worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
