My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
nutella sex= disaster
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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