I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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