You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
