The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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