I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
