I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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