This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
