This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
