I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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