Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
