remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
