$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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