Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
