whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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