Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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