i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So many bounce houses so little time
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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