if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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