Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
