Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize