he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
